Quite often children in schools become objects of ridicule and insult to other children. Especially “lucky” to those who are at least something different from the environment: the presence of glasses, aligning plates on the teeth, too much or too little weight, and so on … But even if the child is not very different from others, offensive nickname can stick because of every little thing. For example, a child should sneeze loudly in class, as it can be teased with “sore” or even “coronavirus”, and these are not the most annoying nicknames. And then …
Ukraine , Ukraingate , 13 , December , 2021 | Lifestyle
If a child reacts to ridicule too painfully and is difficult to experience, it further excites children, and they begin to actively “get” it and deliberately bring to tears and tantrums. Therefore, the child must be taught to respond properly to insults and ridicule. How exactly? Zhytomyr psychologist Natalia Sidorenok told about it.
Just mockery or bullying?
To choose the right behavior for a child who suffers from abusive ridicule, you need to consider not only his age, but temperament and character. But first you need to understand how serious the situation is. If the ridicule is accompanied by threats, threats, footsteps, and even older children who are also trying to take money from the child, then this is real bullying and you need to immediately report it to the school administration. And if it’s just ridicule that does not pose a real threat to the child, but only upsets and angers him, you can use effective behaviors that will help the child stand up for himself. After all, she needs to learn to cope with difficult situations and be able to put in place the audacious.
Do not give a sign that you are offended
So, the first thing to advise a child is not to show how sorry he is and how he suffers from ridicule. It is clear that the child will not succeed immediately, but it must be taught. For example, when you hear another mockery, take a deep breath, which will help to control your emotions or count to ten. Such exercises should be practiced at home when the child is at rest. And if necessary, she will be able to use these methods of relaxation. The child must remember that if he does not give a sign that he is being ridiculed, the perpetrators will not be interested in teasing her in the future. And they will gradually detach.
Do not lower your head
In addition, it is very important that the child does not look depressed and scared. Explain to him that you should not lower your head and hide from abusers, because such children are the most offended. On the contrary, you need to raise your head, straighten your shoulders and get an independent look that says: I’m not afraid of you. You can watch movies where superheroes fight the enemy and win, using not only physical strength but also moral superiority. You can even practice the look and facial expression, which should tame ridiculers. Help your child imagine himself as the same superhero who is not affected by ridicule and insults and all offensive words bounce off him like a ball from the wall. Explain that a strong person knows how to control his emotions and is not afraid of anyone.
Harsh statement
For starters, you can just ignore the bully. Pretend that the child simply does not hear or see him. If this does not help, then in response to ridicule, you can just shrug your shoulders, they say, I do not understand what I’m talking about, and leave immediately. Or to say, “I don’t want to listen to your nonsense. I have more important things to do.” And you can add: “Get someone else” or “I’m not interested” or “Change the record”. You need to be able to respond sharply to rudeness or ridicule. It does not always help, but the environment will understand that this child is not so easy to offend and will begin to treat her more respectfully.
If a child hears her being discussed behind her back, she should look back and confidently ask, “Did you want to tell me something?” And if offensive words are said loudly and for everyone, you can clarify: “What did you say?” Usually the bully does not dare to repeat again and avoids direct conversation. If one of the children makes fun of a child for his bad grades, he can say: “Well, if you’re so smart, then help me become smarter, too” … Another effective statement of fact. If you are teased through glasses, you can say: “Yes, I wear glasses and what is it?” Or “Yeah, I can’t run fast, but I do better than you.” In short, parents and their child need to think about a common strategy for communicating with the abuser and to deal with it systematically.
Laughter disarms
One of the most effective ways to resist arrogance is through laughter. He disarms and confuses. The abuser expects tears from the child, and she laughs! If you take everything with humor and turn it into a joke, it always works well. But experience is needed here. And yet the child should try to respond to offensive words with at least a slight smile and a shrug, like, what are you saying? Or, looking in the eyes of krivdnik, smile and ask: “Well, what else will you tell me?”. Or so: “Did you come up with it yourself? It could have been more interesting” …
What can parents do?
Parents need not only to help their child cope with the abuser, but also to increase their self-esteem. Praise her, talk more about successes and achievements. Help to get acquainted with good friendly children, so that the son or daughter is not alone. And to help cope with the shortcomings due to which the child has to listen to unpleasant words. If your child is overweight, start eating right with the whole family, eliminate sweets from your diet and stop baking cakes, play sports or sign up for fitness. If a child suffers from acne or rashes on the face, go to a dermatologist, buy the necessary cosmetics and help cope with the problem. If the child is weaker than all the boys in the class, enroll him in the sports section, squeeze together in the morning, run and swing the press. It brings children and parents closer together, gives children strength and self-confidence, and makes them more confident.
If there is a threat to life and health, then …
The child can try to cope with ridicule and gain authority in the classroom on their own with the help of these behaviors only in situations that do not endanger his life and health. But if a son or daughter is constantly harassed by older children, cynically ridiculed, lured intodoors, tried to take things from her, threatened, etc., she should immediately seek help from adults and not try to cope on her own. Explain that this is not a shame at all. Constant threats and insults cannot be tolerated. In addition, parents should not find out for themselves about their relationship with the perpetrator’s parents, as they will always protect their child, even if he or she is really guilty. The best solution is to contact the school administration and solve this problem together.
Source : Ukrgate